Friday comes

Friday September 14, 2012
Today when i asked my Buddy what he needed he answered he wanted breakfast! The antibiotics must be doing their job. I get him whatever he wants. He eats only a few bites and that’s ok because it’s more than he has had in the last several days.

This continues through the weekend.

On Monday when when the Drs talk to us it is the same, however with the thought that now the hole may have sealed itself off and temporarily be closed. They suggest we try oral meds again as we had to switch over to all IV on Wednesday. We try and it seems as though even the basic meds give my Buddies belly an irritation that he doesn’t like. We also discussed options outside the hospital. Home would be first choice, but would want 24/7nursing because it is time to just be Dad and Mom. One option is an inpatient Hospice facility near home and the third is stay in the hospital where we are. The answer on 24/7 nursing is found fast – not available. Sort of strange, but would have thought it was available. We have to set up an appointment to check out the Hospice House and essentially compare it to the hospital. On Wednesday my wife goes to check it out, she leaves at 10am, my Mom meets her there and apparently her sister too. They call raving with compliments about this facility. I am still unsure as my visit is tomorrow. My wife gets back to the hospital at almost 7pm.

On Thursday my Mom offered to meet me at the Hospice House and we would ride back to the city together. I declined her offer knowing she would get here sooner and get to spend more quality time with my Buddy that way. So off I go alone, again.
I go to check out the facility and think, as I am asking to talk to the Dr who will be I control of my sons care, it’s another place to get used to, what will it be like for my Buddy, what is the right thing to do? I go back and discuss my findings and concerns. We agree to try it out as it is much closer to home and will allow more visitors and he loves his visitors.

Friday September 21, 2012
We ride in the ambulance to the Hospice House.

Wednesday’s decision

I feel like this is a lose lose situation. The decision was no surgery… I spent the night lying next to my son in his hospital bed as I cried and told him how much I loved him. What a terrible feeling, to feel so helpless against this cancer and the medicine that was helping is likely the cause of this intestinal hole.

Thursday September 13, 2012
Things are quiet. Nobody got much sleep. We began antibiotics last night and some suction. This is something parents should never have to go through.
My son, my little buddy is a tough little guy. He shows me, he shows everyone what living is about. He is still in pain although he is now on a continuous pump of pain medicine, so we give him additional doses when needed. He still smiles and tells me I’m “the best father in the world”, which always brings tears to my eyes. This crying stuff is not something I’m used to, I had not cried for years. It’s the point that this is my little boy, who is always such an inspiration, such a magnetic personality and always by my side holding my hand wherever we went. It is heartbreaking…